1. What is a tantra massage?

The tantric massage is a worship ritual.

Accepting pleasure and sensuality as the driving forces of life are essential components. We have a holistic point of view and see the human being with all its aspects. This therefore goes far beyond a conventional massage treatment.

It combines different massage and breathing techniques and is connected to the philosophy of red tantra, a tantric path that also works with sexual energy.

We practise the ritual of the tantric massage naked. It is done with great devotion and enough time in great closeness.

In this full body massage, the intimate area is also massaged, unless the client wants something else. Or a more gentle approach can be agreed upon (for example, no intimate massage in the first session). The intention of the tantric massage is to create a new access to the own body for the touched person, to show new spaces of experience and to integrate sexuality as something natural in life.


2. Where does tantra massage come from? 

Tantric massage as such has been practised and taught in Western culture since the 1980s. Originally, the aim was to have a spiritual experience.

We see the ritual of tantra massage as a very good way to create a different approach to sexual sensation.

Tantra massage promotes more awareness, more slowness, more sensuality and diversity through a large number of different types of play and techniques. Accepting and using one's own desire and one's own body are the overriding principles.


3. How does something like this work?

We start with a preliminary talk in which personal wishes and concerns are discussed and any physical, physical or sexual complaints are discussed. This is a nice opportunity to get to know each other a little better.

At this point, individual treatments can also be highlighted or excluded.

Feelings of guilt and shame often hinder us in the development of sexuality. Therefore, a trusting preliminary talk is very important when getting to know each other, so that you feel very safe as a client. Only then can you let yourself go completely.

Of course, the preliminary talk can also take place before the first encounter over the phone or online. In this case, the massage can then begin immediately after a short relaxation.

Once you are calm and relaxed, the tantric journey begins...


4. Which massage techniques are used?

Usually different massage techniques are combined.

At Gay Love Spirit we emphasise a sequence of effleurage (gentle touch on the surface, the whole skin), petrissage (with connective tissue massage), grips from Polarity and rebalancing, an intensive deep tissue massage to open the body for the flow of energy, before it goes into the sensual and erotic part.

There, Taoist techniques and grips from the Bodyelectric (by Joseph Kramer) are used in the lingam massage as well as in the yoni massage (by Annie Sprinkle).

Many of our masseurs are additionally trained in other massage techniques, so they will also incorporate their diverse experiences into their Tantra work. 


5. Will the masseur and I be naked during the massage?


Many of us are used to thinking of nudity as a natural thing. In this case, we can go straight into the massage session after the preliminary talk. 

If you are a bit shy, we can of course start the session with an undressing ritual. This can also be very sensual. Some masseurs also use lunghis (light cloths) to cover the pelvic area.

If you wish, you can of course wear a blindfold so that you are not distracted and can concentrate fully on receiving the touch.


6. Is there sex? What is the goal?

No, there is no ordinary sex. No sexual intercourse. No wanking.

There is a lot of sensuality and a long dance with high erotic energy.

Nevertheless, you can come to orgasm during a tantric massage. However, ejaculation is not seen as the goal of the massage, but rather as something natural that can happen. Each of us ultimately has a very different sensual sensation.  

When you learn to understand and master sexual energy, the doors are open for you to move forward in your relationships, in Tantra and ultimately in life itself.

The goal of a tantric path (this could be a series of tantric massages, some tantric workshops, more self-awareness workshops with meditation and bodywork, etc.) is to advance your self-realisation. Pleasure and the ability to become a better lover, to feel multiple and deep orgasms are very nice accompanying effects.

For many people, that is enough. For others, there is also a gain in energy, body image, joie de vivre, self-determination and self-acceptance. Of course, we can also support you in solving sexual problems and blockages.

For spiritually minded people, the ultimate goal of Tantra is to reach enlightenment (nirvana, self-realisation, moksha, whatever it may be called).

We understand tantra massage as an integrating, resilience enhancing contribution in our sexual culture. We like to give our workshops at IKSK (Institute for Body Research and Sexual Culture in Berlin). 

Explained in other words (quote from Wikipedia): In neo-tantric and also tantric rituals in general, and in lingam - and yoni massage in particular, it is about the integration of human sexuality and spirituality, that is, it is a spiritual path with physical components; thus about mukti (Sanskrit: mukti) - that is, about liberation, release, freedom; becoming aware of one's own reality and about bhukti (Sanskrit:bhukti) the eating, enjoyment, pleasure. In this context, attachment, upadana (Sanskrit: upadana), can be problematic, as human consciousness has a tendency to attach itself to pleasant experiences and people associated with them, which can lead to suffering. In order to avoid this unnecessary suffering, the tantric path also develops consciousness control and non-attachment (upadana), so that sensual pleasure can become not a source of suffering but an opportunity for intense spiritual experience.Makes sense, doesn't it?

7. I am feeling a lot of sexual pressure at the moment.  Should I/could I book a tantric massage?

You can always book a sensual tantric massage. If you are feeling a lot of sexual pressure at the moment, it is likely that you want to have an orgasm. We're not against orgasm at all - but if it's going to happen, we want to celebrate it in a tantric setting.

Be aware that repeating a sexual routine (e.g., first stimulation, then masturbation) can become boring at first, then perhaps compulsive. Even in the context of a tantric massage, repeating something familiar is not very moving. You only have the chance to experience something new when you leave the path of routine.

Basically, we like to teach you new ways of doing things so that you have more sensual, erotic and ecstatic options and get beyond the repetition of sexual routines.

If you, as the receiver, can enjoy every second and, on the other hand, as the giver, you are with the receiver every moment with your full attention without intention, then the signs are good for a truly moving shared experience.

If you are hungry, you can of course always order the quick spicy kebab. But why do that when you could have a five-course meal instead?

8. Is massage done on the futon or on the massage bench?

Both are possible. At Gay Love Spirit the training includes both.

We recommend that you gain your first experience on a massage table. There are many aspects that seem different with each new experience and their influence on your sensation always varies (breathing, mobility, body tension and body relaxation.... ).

A tantric massage on the futon provides an intense experience as very sensual body-to-body techniques can be used that are not possible on the couch. A certain awareness of your own breathing and the ability to let go of body and mind will help you go deeper in the experience.


9. Is the massage done with the whole body? (Body to Body or Bodyflow)

This is a wonderfully sensual option that creates a lot of intimacy.

But you may also be a little afraid of too much closeness - in this case, discuss this with your masseur.


10. Can I touch the masseur?

Basically, we always stay in our roles and there is no mutual interaction. If it makes you feel safe, you can touch the masseur for a moment, e.g. on the knee, when he is on the massage table. 

But remember, you are the receiver and you remain passive - it is about you and your physical awareness.

It is like a challenge to let the many loving touches arrive fully in your limbic system and in your heart.

We are normally conditioned to go into a counter-action after receiving a sensual touch, to show gratitude or to ask for more. When this happens, we are in a usual give-and-take situation. 

In the tantra massage we want to consciously break this behaviour. There is no groping back, fingering or kissing, just enjoy the wonderful touches and the intimate atmosphere that is created especially for you. 

If you lie there stiff and still for two hours and don't make a move, it's very difficult for the masseur to understand what you like and don't like. 

So of course all masseurs think it's great if you react, move a little, breathe deeply and also make a few sounds. Of course, you can also express if you don't like a certain touch, if you are ticklish, and so on.

11. Why is my breath so important as a receiver? 

Breathing - a movement we do every day, every hour, every minute. We don't even have to think about it. But...breathing more consciously, more freely, more slowly? What about just taking the time to think about it?

Conscious regulated deepening of breathing through mindfulness, or in other words pranayama.

"Prana" is a term for the life energy (compare also Qi);

"Ayama" can be translated as "control" or also as "expand".

So we learn to breathe slowly, saturating breaths full of life energy. 

Many of us go about our daily lives unaware of the fact that we breathe because we live (and vice versa). It is important to become aware of the universal quality of the breath. We experience time and again that clients also hold a great deal of tension in their breath. Only when there is a palpable security and relaxation do we then succeed in bringing the breath into a natural flow.

Draw in the air and feel all the way it makes until it fills your lungs. Now breathe out slowly through your mouth.

You can feel, yes! You! You can feel! Now allow yourself to feel exactly that.  

We will accompany you. 

Take this time just for that, for you to feel. Your own body, mind and soul. Take this time to perceive your inner processes. What you perceive and how it feels.


12. Can I get extra services for an extra charge?

Sexual services such as a "happy ending", a "blowjob" or "a bit of fucking" are not part of the tantric massage and we do not offer these.

With clients we have known for a longer period of time and with whom we work in sexual therapy (in the context of Sacred Intimate Healing Sessions), there is the possibility to work on sexual issues. Again, the overall focus is on the client's personal growth, not sexual consumption or sexual gratification. This work is only offered by colleagues who explicitly offer "Sacred Intimate Sessions".

Extra services such as a very intense anal massage or a very very careful anal touch (for example with clients with bad experiences or experiences of abuse) can of course be arranged depending on the experience and background of the masseur.


13. I have problems with my erection, can I still come to the tantric massage? 

Of course you can enjoy a tantric massage even if you have erection problems.

Through the many unintentional and loving touches, through the joint pleasurable breathing and the joint building of the erotic energy field, you can also ride the wave of ecstasy without having an erection. 

Sometimes the erection comes and goes, the cock does what it wants. This is completely natural and okay. In our loving atmosphere you can learn to feel Eros without pressure to perform. 


14. How much does a professional tantric massage cost?

If you work with well-trained and experienced professionals, the prices for a tantric massage range from 200 (for a two-hour session including pre- and post-talk) to 400 euros for a more intensive session, which we are also happy to offer to experienced recipients.

Longer massages or rituals are of course also possible, whereby the price for this is to be agreed between you and the masseur.

Some of our masseurs can also offer you a 4-hand massage if another colleague is at the same place.


15. How are the genitals massaged during a Tantra massage? What is a lingam, what is a yoni, anal or prostate massage?

Yes, the genitals are massaged as well. Unless you don't want that. 

There are two types of intimate massage: one for the female sex (in Tantra language - Yoni), and one for the male sex ( - Lingam).


The Yoni Massage

The well-known sexologist (and porn actress, porn producer, feminist and sex educator) Annie M. Sprinkle modernised the ancient Daoist Yoni Massage in the 1980s and made it accessible to the Western public.

This involves massaging the inner and outer labia, the anus, the mons veneris, as well as the clitoris and the G-spot. The different layers of skin, mucous membrane, connective tissue, clitoral and vaginal erectile tissue as well as the musculature are worked on through pulling, stretching and pressure stimuli as well as gentle body touch.

Depending on the physical constitution, tensions can also be released and pelvic floor muscles strengthened.


The Lingam Massage

For men who have a penis, the tantric massage finally revolves around the lingam. 

During the actual lingam massage, the penis, testicles and entire front area of the body are alternately stimulated and massaged. A good dozen different grips can bring you close to climax again and again.

Joe Kramer incorporated these different Taoist techniques into the so-called Bodyelectric in the 1980s at the height of the AIDS crisis to create a healthy and safe alternative to ordinary sex.


The anal and prostate massage

This can of course be done in different positions (lying on the stomach, with pillow, lying on the back, sideways... ).

First, the entire adjacent area is massaged and connected to your bottom with long and circular strokes.

Then your entire bottom is massaged with passion. Deep touches alternate with gentle ones. Your rosette is slowly prepared for an opening in several sequences. Equipped with enough lubricant, the masseur will then gently glide into your wonderful anal opening with a finger ring.

Slowly, the anal and pelvic floor muscles are loosened.

If available, there is of course also a prostate massage, which can be very relaxing, but also extremely stimulating and can lead to great anal orgasms...

In the extended lingam massage, the lingam, anus and prostate can be massaged alternately, which can send you into a real frenzy. In the process, you can learn what it feels like to have multiple orgasms - having sex for hours without coming.


16. What is tantric ecstasy? 

In the past, ecstasy was called 'rapture'. Ecstasy is a term for intense psychic states of exception. Trance can occur and greatly alter ordinary perception. The term comes from the Greek ("to step out of oneself"). 

For ecstasy to happen, you have to let go, and self-control is allowed to step back for a moment, or better still for a few hours, and surrender can take over....

Sexual energy is called the strongest energy in Tantric philosophy. It is localised in the sacral chakra. Through deep tissue massage of the buttocks, through anal massage and pelvic floor massage as well as through abdominal massage and of course through yoni and lingam massage, it is awakened and moved and strengthened with the help of the breath. 

This so-called "kundalini energy", together with the breath, can bring you into a state of slight twitching and vibration. At the end of your tantric massage, the energy from the sex centre should be distributed throughout the body. This can be done, for example, through an intensive breathing session with "Big Draw". But also very gentle energy balancing exercises can bring your energy back to normal.

At the end of the session you will go home fulfilled and full of pleasant energy.


17. Is tantric massage the same as sensual or erotic massage?

Partly... There are no general definitions here. On these pages it is clearly described what you can and cannot expect from us. With other providers, all kinds of things are often mixed up, and we often hear about assaults or sessions without rules. That does not happen with us. 

Our massages are of course very sensual and extremely erotic, but there is no sexual service here, no happy ending, but all the more mindfulness and devotion in the process of enjoying and letting go. And of course sometimes ecstasy and heavenly experiences. But don't stress yourself or us - sometimes it takes solid groundwork before the energy can unfold.  

We can only accept that many people in our society are very stressed - by work, responsibility, strain, but also by stereotypical images, pornography, advertising, lifestyle and so on. We contribute to sexual culture with tantric massage to enable more liberation, lightness and profundity in intimate encounters.

We alone cannot save the world, but we can make many people more balanced and happier...


18. I have a disability or I am very different from the norm - can I still get a tantra massage?

Of course you are welcome. Especially for different people and people with disabilities, tantric massage is of great healing value.  

For the success of a tantric ritual it is unimportant whether the recipient is tall or short, fat or thin, disabled or not disabled, old or young and so on.

The only thing that counts is the ability to let go, to trust and to surrender to this unintentional process. This ability can be learned by anyone.


19. Tantric massage as a complement in healing processes

As I said, our sessions are first of all unintentional. People are often referred to us by psychologists, therapists, couples counsellors, coaches, etc., which honours us. We welcome these people as warmly and sensitively as anyone else.

Among other things, tantric massages promote sensual sensation, a possible loss of control, the ability to engage, they build trust and strengthen life energy. 

It should be noted, however, that as a rule we do not have a licence to heal and we do not enter into the session with the aim of a healing process. The exception to this are some colleagues who have a sexological or therapeutic background - they will communicate this clearly to you.

As with all other sessions, we work intentionlessly and surrender to the flow of the energies. If we look at the whole thing philosophically, the intention to make the physical experience experiential is of course also an intention. But on a different level - on a level that does not restrict you further.

Be sure, we do our best, but you alone are responsible for your behaviour and for your emotions and your growth. We accompany you with all our energy, experience and dedication.


20. Isn't it nicer if I come to the tantra massage a little hammered?

Without exception, we ask everyone who comes to us for a massage session to come completely sober. In addition to deep physical touch, we work with subtle energies that you can't feel if your senses are foggy. So you would not be aware of a large part of the session if you were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The same applies to the masseur. He can't perceive you and your energies if he himself is intoxicated or stoned. Therefore, he will always do his tantric work sober.
More generally, tantra suggests opening yourself to other dimensions of your self. To do this, all you need is your physical presence and your full awareness. It is your own sexual energy (also called hara, chi, creative energy, etc. in other cultures) that does the work from the moment you are ready to give up attachment to other behaviours that do not or no longer make you happy.
So when you come to a tantric massage session you should be sober from any substances (drugs, alcohol, etc.) and even sober from any substances used for sexual stimulation (Viagra, etc.). It is this sobriety combined with the work on sexual energy that makes the Tantra process sustainable in the long run.

More generally, Tantra offers the possibility of opening you to other dimensions of yourself. All you need is your physical presence and your full awareness. It is your own sexual energy (called differently in other cultures and frames of reference: Hara, Chi, creative energy, etc.) that does the work from the moment you are ready to let go of attachment to other behaviours that do not or no longer make you happy.
Therefore, it is advisable to be sober when coming to a tantric massage session, without any substance (drugs, alcohol, etc.) and even without any substance for sexual stimulation (Viagra, etc.). It is this process of sobriety combined with the work on sexual energy that makes the tantra process sustainable in the long run.


21. Is tantra massage suitable for people who have had a drug problem?

Drugs make it easier for many to block out feelings of guilt and shame, which for many people make access to sexuality very difficult. With drugs, it is therefore much easier to have supposedly good sex. In the gay subculture, drugs and their use in a sexual context are very common. For a large proportion of people who do this regularly, a downward spiral then results - they then need the substance that makes everything easier more and more often and in larger doses.
Sensuality and tantric massages are very suitable for people who want to return to a sober natural sexuality after a drug problem. We are in no way a substitute for therapy. However, so far we have always been able to create a good framework of experience in which people with addiction problems can slowly take steps to accompany their therapy in order to soberly cross the boundaries of guilt and shame in a natural way and very consciously take a drug-free path into sensual ecstasy. We have successfully accompanied many men in this framework.


22. What about hygiene?

We use fresh sheets and towels for every guest and every massage. There is another fresh towel for showering before and after each massage.

When we start a massage, we are of course freshly showered. We expect the same from our clients. If you have just come from work, you can of course also shower with us. The magic word is running water.

If you would like an anal/prostate massage, a rinse before the massage is of course highly recommended. Don't know how to do that? We can also help you for the first time and give you some tips.